One mom's journey through first time motherhood.
A journal to her son, Tucker, inscribing his birth into this world, the lessons and tricks they learned along way, and what they are not telling you in the prenatal books and classes.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

day 7 - why does he cry all the time?

I did not know what type of mom I would be. I don't love kids. Maybe I do now. I think I just love you. I had my fears that I wouldn't love you, that you would be some stranger, some slimy, red, puffy baby they lay down on my belly in the hospital. I read about this phenomenon. I was prepared for the chance that would be me.

It didn't happen like that at all. I loved you from the first moment I saw you. There is an unquestionable bond between a mother and a child. From the instant your head pushed it's way into this world that was the way it was to be. Here was my baby, my love. On April 22, a girl grew up, experiencing a love she never new existed.

I understand postpartum depression and I can sympathize with feeling as though your child was a stranger. Here I am in one of the most demanding and important phases of my life and I am surprising myself in the way that I feel truly blessed. It helps that I think you are the cutest baby in the world. It helps that I have countless opportunities to gaze down at your assembly of faces to make while you sleep. It helps that sleepless nights are meaningless as long as I am on maternity leave. It helps that you are such a wonderful being.

Despite my inexperience as a mother, I don't think you cry much at all. We hear some cries when you are hungry. Of course, then we feed you. You cry when we change you diaper, sometimes. Then, some nights, you cry as if you are colicky, kicking out and screaming is it seems the gas or poo works it's way down. This is a bit more alarming, but again I read it is normal. So, in these three ways that you truly cry we only hear 10 or so minutes of crying a day. Nevertheless, in your first week home there's definitely been some 3rd party concern as to the extent of your cries.

I consulted THE source, the internet. Expect up to two hours of crying, more for a colicky baby. Again, I think we are blessed with you.

May the critics be silenced, we have an angel on our hands.

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