superman!

The dreaded day had arrived. Vaccinations.

Thanks to Jenny McCarthy and one Supreme Court verdict, I was terrified to take you to the doctor. I had done my research. I read up on the side effects. I heard the testimonies on vaccinations and autism. I wasn't happy with what we had to do.

Is the risk of my child catching Tetanus, Diptheria or Pertussis seriously greater than the chances of these side effects from the TDaP vaccination? Simply running a fever and just being upset by the vaccinations is torture enough for a parent. And the autism scare, what if two days from now my child, my wonderful, happy, breath of fresh (and poopy) air child is suddenly non-responsive? How could I live with what I had done to my child? Knowing who he was and his personality that resulted from something the world told me I needed to do. How could I live with that loss?

At one month visit you needed only a single shot, Hepatitis B. You slept the entire day afterward. You can't tell me that wasn't a side effect. I asked the pediatrician that day about what concerns we should have over the vaccination. He responded by saying, "Who are you, the one that keeps everyone away from your child?". We didn't switch practices after that remark, but we certainly jumped to a new doctor within the practice. Am I not to have a say in my child's immunization schedule? Would I be a good mother if I didn't question what gets pumped into my baby?

Nevertheless, I let wisdom or influence or fear of the I told you so lead us back to the pediatrician, armed with your superman onesie and apprehension. Friendly advice told us the vaccines hurt us worse than it would hurt you, but I can't really say that was true. While you were the true angel you are throughout the visit, the shots (2 of them) clearly hurt. The nurse was quick to administer them, but you were quicker to turn so red I truly thought your eyes would have popped out of your head had you not had them closed so tightly. The bandaides could not have been put on quick enough for me to grab you into my arms and assure you all would be okay.

Like the brave boy you are, you settled quickly and managed to fall fast asleep against my chest, as if the short but extreme trauma had sent you into complete exhaustion. Even in your slumber, you clung to me, which was deeply heartwarming despite the situation which initiated it. Unable to let you go, the three of us sidled up to each other in the backseat of the car, thanking God we made it through the experience thus far. The next few days will not be without anxiety though. The watch for side effects begins.

In honor of our traumatic experience, you and I turned the occasion into a sick day... While your dad had to work, he did generously rented us a movie from the Red Box, the new release of Confessions of a Shopaholic. We spent the afternoon in our pajamas, cuddled up with boppy and blankie on the couch creating the warmth and coziness to keep me believing that you know how much you are loved and cared for.

Current Stats on 6/23/2009, 2 months:
Weight: 13 pounds, 6 ounces (95% percentile)
Height: 25 inches (95% percentile)
Head: 15 3/4 inches (75% percentile)

day 2 - TDaP or is it Dtap?

A word of warning to first time mom's out there. If you are not current on your TDaP vaccine, you'll be asked if you want it during your hospital stay. I was unprepared to answer, but declined. I just didn't see how I could care for my baby with my current state plus the side effects of the vaccine. I was so broken down I honestly did not know if my immune system could handle it. So, yes I declined, but I intend to have it at my 6 week check up.

Of course, whether or not to get the vaccine is a personal choice. I have not found any compelling reason not to have it. I just was not prepared when presented with the choice. Do your research before you go to the hospital!

day 1 - the recovery

I guess I thought I would wake the next morning a refreshed, happy mother. I was right about the happy part, nothing else I was prepared for. I never really heard anything about the time AFTER the delivery. It seemed all the literature and preparation took you to the point of delivery and then picked up with baby care. I had no idea what to expect from our hospital stay.


To my surprise, once we arrived at our mom and baby room (around midnight on your birthday), it was not all rest and relaxation. Don't get me wrong, we had the nice bonding moments, but that was just a percentage of the time we spent there.

I was expected to go to the bathroom within hours of the delivery. I cannot even begin to explain how hard this was after delivering a baby. Nothing seemed to work "down there" anymore. I thought I had to go, but couldn't. It was hard enough just sitting down. Of course, the nurse was standing right there, which didn't bother me, but might other moms. I guess the delivery itself wasn't enough exposure.

Well, I was also hungry! Twenty-eight hours without eating is a long time for someone who was pregnant for 24 of those hours. Prospective mommies be ready to fast during the delivery... The cafeteria was closed at this point, but the cheese and mayo sandwich did me just fine. Your father had already eaten the meal that was delivered for me before we pushed you out.

Expecting to sleep at some point, the night was filled with feedings (where you mostly fell asleep) and regular baby and mom checkups. Breakfast came around seven AM, which was fine since my hunger rivaled my sleepiness. I picked the bacon off my vegetarian meal and had some nice warm nourishment.

I chatted with your grandparents later in the morning. The first and foremost topic: how tired THEY were. I can imagine...

The rest of the day was much the same, dosing off, checkups, feedings, cuddling. You had your Hepatitis-D vaccine and slept most of the day away. This parenting thing seemed easy enough, if I could just catch up on my lost sleep. My biggest concern at this point was whether your sleepy head was going to get enough to eat.