One mom's journey through first time motherhood.
A journal to her son, Tucker, inscribing his birth into this world, the lessons and tricks they learned along way, and what they are not telling you in the prenatal books and classes.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I had a heart attack

My heart stopped. My stomach wrenched. I ran. I RAN to Tucker's room.

My worst nightmare, was it coming true?

Well, no, it wasn't. But for a few seconds I thought it might be and in the few seconds it took me to gasp and run to Tucker's room I made Brian feel the exact same way.

So what happened? Again, nothing, nothing happened. Except ...

Tucker has learned to roll over and sleep on his stomach. After three nights of this routine I am easing into accepting it. Belly sleeping seems to have become his preferred modus operandi. I know, I know, "babies used to always sleep on their stomachs", but not these days and not my baby.

Monday morning was the first such incident. I was going about my normal getting ready for work routine which happens to include checking the video monitor to see if my little one is stirring. This Monday morning there was no stir. Tucker was face down in his crib. Here is when I panicked and RAN to him. Still dark this early fall morning I flipped on his bedroom light and dashed to his crib side where he lay still. With my heart no longer beating, I called on my lungs... "TUCKER!"

That is when panic turned to relief and then to... oops. Not quite understanding the fuss, in an instant Tucker was dazed, yet up and in full-arm-extension-upward-dog-position. "I'm up! I'm up!", he seemed to be saying as he anxiously looked around for the fire or oncoming train.

As much as we take pride in all of his milestones (which he seems to be reaching at a feverish rate) they mean both independence and choice, at least in regards to which way he sleeps. We can spend all night flipping him back on his back or we can accept that he found a position that might help him sleep longer through the night.

We already spend all night now watching him on the his monitor to make sure when he does flip over that he does know to turn his head to the side and continues to do so through the night. From the angle of the baby monitor, he undoubtedly looks as though he is face-planted-deathly-still in his crib. In reality he is comfortable slumbering away. A lesson to take away when using a baby monitor or trying to get some sleep...

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